Your Vulnerability May Truly Be Your Strength

Last month I had the utmost pleasure of speaking to an amazing group of hard working, athletic, goal driven people that work for a company that is headquarters right here in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. The CEO and founder of the company picked up a copy of VOID magazine and read my article. He then tasked my now awesome friend, Aaron, to find a way to contact me and have me speak at their Monday “All Hands” meeting. I put “All Hands” in quotes as they have much cooler and imaginative names and times for their meetings and traditions that are very inspirational and uplifting!  

 

I went into this speaking engagement thinking it would be 15 people max but to my pleasant surprise not only were there 40 or 50 associates but the CEO pulled his 10 year old twin son and daughter out of school to hear me speak. No pressure

 

When I am lucky enough to do speaking engagements I speak from my heart, love humor and tell the audience what my sport means to me. But when I get to a certain part of my story and talk about my family finishing Ultraman Canada hand in hand I start to tear, choke up and apologize for my pause. I feel embarrassed that I get so emotional in front of people I just met. 

 

At the end I was so happy to be able to talk to some of the amazing associates who in my book are so much more accomplished and driven than I am! I met a woman named Maggie that is about to start training for IMFL, her first Ironman. I met a young lady named Tay who is all of 22 years old. She talked to me about wanting to run her 1st 5k while pushing her mother as she had lost her leg. Come to find out she is a childhood cancer survivor and started up a charity, WithLove. The mission and heart of WithLove is to give children battling cancer the opportunity to simply be kids. She should have been up on the podium speaking  

 

After the speaking engagement I was so elated to get an amazing Thank You card that literally had me smiling ear to ear for hours! Then I received an email from the CEO and from each speaking engagement comes not only meeting new friends but also a lesson. My lesson came from this note:

Hi Kellie,

I too would like to thank you for sharing your amazing story with our team – They loved it!

I also wanted to share what an influence you had on my children, especially Jordan. Since seeing you speak she has stepped up her training and desire to compete.  I think Aaron mentioned to you that she had amazing results in a recent small 5k. She was the first finisher under 15, she was 6^th amongst all women and 20^th overall in a field of 90.  Pretty good for a 10 year old. She loves to compete (maybe too much).

She told me that she remembered you talking about everyone starting out in front of you or faster than you and how you love to real them in.  In her last race she displayed great patience. She passed 15 or 20 runners along the course and was passed by no one.  I road my bike behind her (I could never keep up with her running).  When asked what their favorite part of your talk was both Logan and Jordan said when you got emotional talking about your family.

Keep telling your story and being vulnerable with your audience. It changes lives!

Challenge Wanaka – Good on Ya, Mate!

Purgatory: A place or condition of temporary suffering.

From the outside looking in there is nothing but absolute stunning views and warm skies. From the inside looking out the challenges this course afforded me was insurmountable. When I looked up I saw heaven, pure beauty. When I looked down I went inside myself and I saw demons. Crossing the finish line of this race truly made me realize what I was made of and how I was much stronger mentally than I ever will be physically. They say “As an athlete it is essential you are prepared for this very special event. It is an iron distance with an ‘adventure edge’ and there are several compulsory elements that you may not encounter at other events.”  I now know what they mean. It was the most difficult race of my athletic career. At the end 19% of the athletes withdrew while on the course.

Wanaka has got to be the most quaint and friendly place on earth. With a population of 2,000 there were over 600 volunteers. That is 1/3rd of the population out supporting the athlete’s. They are not there to sign up for the following year, they were there to show their support and love of a non-profit organization run by a volunteer board of trustees that encourage an active and healthy lifestyle.

Race morning was beautiful but the wind was daunting. Water temp. was at 58 degrees and the wind caused massive swells bringing in a level of difficulty right from the start and draining much of my energy. But a time came where I looked up and there was the most beautiful rainbow. It actually warmed me up a bit which was nice since I could only pee twice in my wetsuit

The wind picked up and the swells were harder to battle on the second loop. I could not take a breath without swallowing water and choking. I was thrilled to finally be out of the water until I realized walking to T1 that I had a nice bout of sea sickness.

After a long transition I mounted my bike and after 5 min on the bike I pulled over, got off my bike and for the first time ever in a race did not want to go on. My hamstring was cramping, the sea sickness meant I was not going to take in any hydration or nutrition for quite a while and the thought of the wind that I would be facing along with some nice climbs was wrecking havoc with my head. I had to make a decision to continue or DNF and I would have to live with that decision. I thought about my Dad after we crossed the finish line of Ultraman Canada giving me a hug and saying, “I am proud of you, baby.”  That is what got me back on my bike. 10 minutes later I blew my back tire. Nice   Someone was really testing my mental state. I took 12 min to change it and I decided to take my Garmin and put it in my back pocket and not care about my time or watts. All I needed to worry about was the self-doubt that never seemed to dissipate.

There were parts of the course that were just majestic! Lake Hawea was the most beautiful site and I made sure to just absorb the beauty as we circled around a small part of it.

The beauty was balanced out by the beast that was faced when heading out to Luggate and the out and back to Cromwell. The wind was a monster, much of the 4,500 feet of climbs was upon us and riding on the chip seal road easily dropped your speed 1-2 kph and allowed you to only inflate your tires to 90 psi with and intense vibration was all starting to take a toll on the body.  I was in my easiest gear on flat road and pushing 9 mph for long periods of time and on the second loop when the winds picked up even more I had to dismount my bike and walk a hill for 8 min but I was not alone as others in front of me were doing the same.

Chip Seal Road

I had passed some volunteers towards the end of the bike who screamed to me, “5K to the bike finish. Good on ya, mate!”  I looked at my watch and realized I was just going to miss the bike cutoff. I did all I could to push myself to the transition and part of me wanted them to pull me from the course but another part wanted to go on. I dismounted right when my time hit 5:01pm, one minute past the cutoff. The volunteers looked at me and said, “Enjoy the run!”  I wanted to cry

I know I would have not gone on if my friend Marison had not been in T2 waiting for me and telling me that the run was what I loved and that was my strength and that I needed to go out and conquer it. Marison, you are my angel! It was a two loop run and the first loop I was pacing off a 65 year old man, John. He was on his second loop and he kept me going along with his support, Harlan, who was riding along the road and cheering us both on. Well, part cheering and part making fun of me stopping at every aid station to talk, eat and drink

As John went to the left to the finish line I headed right to start my second loop. Thanks to my family and friends for being there to cheer me on! When I started the 2nd loop I got my mojo back. I walked all the hills on the first loop but the second loop I was able to keep my stride and run most of the hills. It finally hit me that I was going to finish. It may not have been pretty but I WAS going to finish! When I was running along Lake Wanaka and about to hit the descent to the finish I could hear the announcer, I could see the finishing lights and hear the crowds cheering. It was dark at this point and I could hear people cheering me on from the hotel balconies. I finally hit the town of Wanaka and my heart started to feel the joy I had been so desperately waiting for. As I ran by the crowds outside eating, drinking, clapping and cheering I started to tear up. This is only the second time I teared up at the end of a race. Ultraman Canada was an all out cry fest and will always rank #1 but Wanaka, you turned my water works on. As I ran through the corral of people they were clapping my hands and screaming loud for the “girl in the skirt” and I could not stop smiling.

15 hours and 12 minutes of battling the demons in my head and I finally moved from purgatory to heaven. It was an amazing felling crossing the finish.

Body Art – The Meaning of the Daffodil

The Daffodil is the March birth flower. The three Daffodils represent myself and my two sisters, Carrie and Heather (all March babies). My sisters are always with me and I love when I look in the mirror and see them. It brings me a sense of calm. It warms my heart. It makes me feel like I am never alone. The meaning of the Daffodil is beautiful and represents many traits that we carry with us. Daffodils have the meaning of faith, honesty, truth, forgiveness, and forthrightness.

The meaning I most love is represented in this quote, “They are ever vigilant in returning each spring, and with their return we are reminded that their beauty is capable of following on the shirttails of even the harshest winters (or tribulations).” We all face difficult times. How we face “tribulations” and overcome those difficult times tells us a lot about who we are. We always come out more knowledgeable and beautiful at the end. It is who we are. It is how we choose to be. Symbolizing rebirth and new beginnings. We never look back at the past, we always look forward to the future.

The daffodil is symbolic of the power of inner beauty and the clarity of thought. It reminds us that clarity of thought makes our whole world change and it makes many decisions easier if they are not over analyzed but instead clarified and soundly resolved. The Daffodil is a symbol of wealth and good fortune and a symbol of beautiful eyes. A gift of daffodils is said to ensure happiness. We love to see people happy

I have to give all the thanks to my twin who was the brainchild behind this body art. I love the beauty, the meaning and that we share in the symbolism. I also love that we have the art on different shoulders, have it is positioned differently and how Carries is shaded more subtle and delicate and mine is more bold and daring, it represents our personalities. I guess Heather needs to step up

in time of daffodils (E.E. Cummings)

in time of daffodils (who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why, remember how

What I Love

I love my smile. I love that my smile makes others smile. I love that smiles are contagious.

I love my family. I love that my family supports and inspires me. I love to support and inspire my family.

I love long, slow runs. I love not remembering how I got from mile 9 to mile 17. I love that from mile 9 to 17 I was in a happy place.

I love my friends. I love that we are all different. I love that we are all the same.

I love that I swim slow. I love that I don’t want to get faster. I love that there are things in life that are perfect the way they are.

I love to work in an environment that appreciates me. I love that I have to work hard for them to appreciate me. I love to work hard. I love that I can retire young because I work hard.

I love that I am horrible at spelling and grammar. I love that nobody is perfect. I love that we all have things we can work on.

I love my tattoos. I love that I don’t care what others think of my tattoos. I love that I am excited to get another on that has a lot of meaning.

I love photography. I love that we can express emotions without words. I love that everyone has their own interpretation of a photo. I love my interpretations.

I love looking out my sliding glass door and seeing the ocean. I love when the ocean is calm. I love when the ocean is fierce. I love variety.

I love to be out of my comfort zone at work. I love to be in my comfort zone in my sport. I love that I found balance.

I love my family. I love that I can say that twice. I love that I am the luckiest girl in the world because of them.

I love my life…

A 110% Team Effort

When you do something for reasons greater than yourself and you have a team of amazing family and friends supporting that vision there is nothing you can’t do! When approached by 110%. Play Harder. to be part the 110% Give Harder team to run 110 miles to raise donations to find a cure for breast cancer it did not take but a minute to say ABSOLUTELY YES! My family was touched by breast cancer and 21 years ago we lost our Grammy Young from this deadly disease. She was 62 years old and for 6 months we sat by her side and watched her fight as hard as she could. When she passed away there was, and still is, a void but with that void comes memories of one of the most beautiful and loving figures in our life.

I called my sister, Heather, and asked if she would relay the first 84 miles of the 110 miles to the start of the “National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer” then we would run the marathon course together to the finish line to cover 110K of running each. Heather did not even think twice, she was ready to be there by my side and to help raise awareness and donations! It did not stop there! Our Dad heard what we were doing and he flew in from upstate NY to crew for Heather and I. He loves his babies and we love him 10x more back

The support we received from family, friend and even those we did not even know both in the form of donations and in cheers was overwhelming! Heather and I were so touched by how many had family and friends that were also touched by breast cancer and also those that donated that had loved ones that had to fight other types of cancer. We began to fill posters of those we were running in memory, honor and celebration of to carry with us for the last part of our run to honor their strength and courage.

 The Mission of the Donna 26.2 is to “passionately produce world-class events to raise funds for ground breaking breast cancer research and empower women living with breast cancer.” and the 110% Give Harder Foundations mission is to “seeks to motivate, inspire and lead others to live more active lifestyles while simultaneously giving back to their community.” We are blessed with our health and ability to participate in endurance events and this was our chance to pay it forward.

Heather and I enjoyed running with brothers Jim and Ted! It was the sibling run team but they were running the full 110 miles (our heros)! We also loved hanging out with Dad on our off miles and were thankful when Dad followed us close in the car through the night to make sure we were safe.  

The temps dropped significantly when the sun went down on Saturday and in the darkness you could feel the 20 degree temps chilling you to the bone even with 5 layers of clothes on. We remember what a friend told us about chemo and what it was really like and all we could say is, “No matter how difficult this is it is not even close to what chemo feels like!” and we kept moving forward.

As we finished the last 9 miles with the posters in hand we felt like we were flying. We know Grammy Young was there with us and gave us wings. We are proud to say we are on our way to reaching our goal of raising $110K for breast cancer research and to help woman financially that are currently fighting breast cancer. Thank you to everyone who supported us though this journey. We are forever grateful!!

From Heather (my amazing sister and coach…I love you!!)…

Being part of the 110% Give Harder Foundation is still very surreal. I am so completely humbled by the graciousness, love, and support of others. Before we started the 110 mile journey my head was clear, but my heart was full of love, joy, and faith. I knew at that moment I was exactly where I belonged. There were so many memorable moments during the 23 hours and 40 minutes. I enjoyed running with Jim and Ted Philip. Their focus and determination was inspiring. My Dad! He drove the crew car and stayed up all night watching his girls run. His dedication is amazing. Being with my sister Kellie is always what makes these experiences that much more meaningful. There doesn’t need to be words or conversation. Just her and me running. Around 4am, I remember thinking about how serene it was on the streets. I became sad for a moment as I wished my sister Carrie was there too. However, in the next moment I realized she was. I never go anywhere without the two of them. They are a part of me. Now this experience has become a part of me too. Would I do it again? Yes, in a heartbeat, and I would go further next time. Why? Simple, the people we were running for. That is what this was all about. Not me, not a road, and not a finishing time. It was about people. It was for the people we love and are gone, it was for the people fighting, and the people that will fight this battle. With each step I had hope. In the words of John Wesley, I believe that we should “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can.”

How Do You Define An ATHLETE?

Do you define an ATHLETE by fame? Fortune? Adoring fans?

I believe an ATHLETE is someone who sets a goal and works hard to achieve that goal. Someone that challenges themself to do something they consider impossible and inspire many along their journey. My goal is to inspire woman and young girls to realize they can do anything they set their minds to. I pay my gift forward by driving awareness and raise funds for important causes.

When I was approached by the 110% Give Harder Foundation to join the team to help end Breast Cancer I did not have to think twice. My family was touched by breast cancer and lost a beautiful soul to this horrible disease. I am passionate about including my family in my journeys and my sister Heather and my Dad will be joining me as a way to honor the memory of an amazing woman and to help abolish breast cancer.

Our mission is to run as part of the 110% Give Harder team by running 110K to raise $110K to help win the fight against breast cancer. Beginning on Saturday, February 11th, 2012, we will set out on a 110K journey. We will each run 42 miles (84 miles total) as a relay through the night to get to the start line of the 2012 26.2 With Donna Marathon. We will then continue our journey together on the course of the Donna Marathon and will run another 26.2 miles until the finish line. Our Dad will be our crew and support through this event.

Kellie & Heather Breast Cancer Marathon Fundraising Page

TELL US HOW YOU DEFINE AN ATHLETE BY LEAVING A REPLY ON THIS POST AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF ATHLETE FROM 110%. PLAY HARDER.

DEFY DEFINITION!

Everyday ATHLETE…Kellie

An EPIC Bond

• Have you ever had a coach that knows you like the back of their hand?
• Have you ever had a friend get up at 4am to drive over an hour to the airport to surprise you and wish you luck on an event?
• Have you ever had your sister ask you to pee in a cup to make sure you are not dehydrated?
• Have you ever had to watch your sisters get a 2 min paddle board lesson 10 min before they have to site you on a 7.2 mile swim.
• Have you ever had to be escorted across 4 lanes of a major highway in the pitch dark to get off an exit on your bike?

My journey stated 5 months before EPICMAN took place when I asked my sister Heather, Jonesing 4 Fitness, to coach me for what was sure to be the most difficult event to date. Not an easy task with a client like me who will not train more than 2.5 hours on a work day (and that includes drive time) as I get to work at 7:30am. Heather took on the challenge and it was amazing to watch both of us grow over the 5 months as an athlete, coach and sisters.

My family and friends mean a lot to me. They keep me grounded and remind me what is important in life.  My friend Heather Davenport, a little ball of energy and smiles, showed up at the airport to surprise me and wish me luck on my event. Really!? She got up at 4am and drove over an hour to the airport and was not even sure she would find me. I almost cry but I was too happy to see her! And my special friend Marie (midget sister ) sent me a gift package in HI of all my favorite goodies which included M&Ms!

Being on the beautiful island of O’ahu with my sisters was really special. We enjoyed our time together and had fun preparing for the adventure we were about to take. Everywhere we went people would comment about our smiles and energy. We bring it out in each other.

The crew car was all packed and we all got a good night sleep and were ready to go! The 7.2 mile swim was really fun! I actually enjoyed it and I completely loved watching my sisters on a paddleboard next to me ensuring I was staying on track. They did great with only a 2 min lesson before the event!

The bike was 336 miles of fun, nerves, smiles and camaraderie! The one loop around the island (104 miles) took quite a bit of time with the amount of traffic, stop signs, stop lights, major roads you had to travel on coupled with the wind and some nice climbs. But it is the EPICMAN CHALLENGE so getting blown into a guard rail when climbing up a steep hill is just part of the journey. Carrie and Heather were right there to ensure I took all the right turns and kept me well hydrated and kept me well fed with peanut butter and nutella sandwiches! Then we hit the 1.4 mile out and backs for 230 miles or so. That was fantastic as the crew could get a little sleep (not much!) and it was a safe lit road and the other athletes were so friendly as we went around in circles. Riding through the night was actually neat and every time I circled around the parking lot all the support crew and volunteers were cheering and keeping you alert and smiling.

The run!! My favorite part! Since I took it very easy on the swim and bike I had a lot of energy and excitement going into the run. My legs were not worn at all so it was time to see what saving it all for the run could do. Heather coached me for this. This was the part where Carrie and Heather would take turns going mile for mile with me by my side. We pushed out 21 or so miles at a nice clip and we all took an hour nap and we were back at it. Of the 78.6 miles I walked about 3/4th of a mile which was a hill or two early on in the run and the last lap prior to heading into the finish. I was starting to feel the sleep deprivation and just needed to get some coke and food in me to get me back on track.

The last 7.5 miles is where the “light at the end of the tunnel” adrenaline kicked in. Some caffeine and nutrition and I was good to go. Heather, who had almost 40 miles on her legs already took the lead and just told me to stay on her feet and think about all the woman and young girls I was inspiring. That was exactly what I needed! Heather paced me at sub-9 mile splits for 7.5 miles and that includes a climb up Diamond Head. Heather was in her element and put on her coaches hat and pushed me past what I thought my limits were. I owed it to my sisters to give it all I had! As we approached the last 2 miles Carrie and a new friend Marlene (who lives in the island and FOUND Carrie at a gas station through tracking us on Facebook and jumped in the crew car and directed her to the finish) were running at us and we all ran around the park to the finish line. Holding my sisters hands we crossed the finish knowing that we once again formed an EPIC bond to complete a journey of a lifetime.

This journey would have never happened if it where not for some very special people.

Jason Lester is the man with the vision and a dear friend that offered me the chance to take part in this event. When he first contacted me I told him I could never even train for a race of that magnitude with a full-time job. He believed in me and knew me well enough to know I would bring my family with me and make this another epic adventure for us to share. Thanks you for believing in me, Jason. And thanks for the 534 text messages you sent to my sisters along the way to make sure I was still alive :)

Rebecca and Jen were the two amazing woman who provided my sisters and I the support that reminded us why we do events like this. They took us in as family and encouraged  us from start to finish. What can I say, you were our angels that looked over us and you became part of our family over the 3 days and we love you!

Rebecca, Me, Jason and Jen!

Stefan, owner of TriFREAKS,  joined up with Jason to put on the EPICMAN Challenge and he was out there on the bike course with me for many out and backs. Just having that companionship out there at 2am really kept me focused and smiling. AND he wore a skirt to the award ceramony…classic! Yes, even I had a skirt on to hide my 110% Play Harder. Juggler Knickers which were my savior!

Jason, me, Stefan!

Carrie and Heather, what can I say, you are my sisters, my coach, my heart. You believe in me more than I ever could believe in myself. You help me reach my goals and remind me that as a team we can do anything we set our minds to. You inspire me, you make me reach for the stars, you are my angels. I love you with all my heart.

For a little look into what it is like to be a crew take a look at what Carrie and Heather had to say…

What was the experience like for your crew of sisters?

Carrie: “Surreal” is the one word that sums up the total experience. To have someone you love rely on you for her well-being and safety as you lead her through one of the most physically and mentally tough times of her life is a daunting task. We felt elation, frustration, adrenaline rushes, and sleep deprivation. We smiled when she whizzed by on her bike, we yelled at each other when we were unsure of a turn. We felt happy when accepted our peanut butter and honey sandwich and we were terrified leading her across four lanes of a busy highway in the pitch black to an exit. We felt fresh and excited as we maneuvered a paddleboard across the ocean waters so she could site us and we felt utterly wiped out as we paced her at 2 am back and forth on the sidewalks of Honolulu after being up for 30 hours (but who are WE to complain). The one feeling our minds and bodies never let go of was the love we had for one another… three sisters in this together through the good and bad and the ugly. Crewing a race like this is not for the faint of heart. I know I speak for both of us crewmembers when I say that we would not want anyone else to be there for Kellie but her two biggest fans.

 

Heather: Epicman was amazing, frightening, exhausting, frustrating, and exciting. I am pretty sure I felt every emotion possible in that 48 hours 30 minutes and 50 seconds. When someone asks you to crew for them it is truly an honor because they trust you enough to be their life line.
I have crewed (along with Carrie) for Kellie during Ultraman Canada, but for me this was a very different experience. Unlike Ultraman Canada, we got the opportunity to paddle board next to her as she swam (usually we do not get to “be” with her until the run). So that was a really cool new experience. The bike, oh the bike, my least favorite part. The twists and turns of the roads, plus traffic, and crossing a four lane highway made me a nervous wreck! By the time we hit the run, sleep deprivation was setting in, and we knew sleep was not in our near future. However, before I knew it we were on the last 7 miles and I was pacing her to the finish. The only thing I could think at that moment was “please don’t let me fail her now.” To be honest, it took a few days for the reality of what happened during EPICMAN to set in. Even today I am still a little shocked that together we helped Kellie make athletic history! However, even above that, the most important thing I have learned out there is that the love that Kellie, Carrie and I have for each other runs much deeper than the bonds of sisterhood